"I'm Coming Home, Coming Home..."

I have thought long and hard about all the lessons I have learned here, and it is completely overwhelming.  The Lord has taught and showed me so much during these past five weeks that its hard to express it in a blog post.  And with my verbal-processing mind would not do it justice if I told you myself.  So I decided to stall and tell you just a few updates on what I have been doing and then I’ll get serious :)

I got to see another precious angel got adopted this past week!  Sipho [See-pOH] is off to Holland with a young couple.  So far he is the only child!  Which will be really good for him because he needs that one-on-one attention... He is one of the fussy ones of the bunch.  But it was really amazing to get to see another child leave!  I saw the pictures of when he was meeting his family, he was so happy the whole time they were holding him!

There are so many babies in the small babies (the little ones up to about 2 months).  We have almost reached our limit!  But as those kiddos grow in the next couple months, they will move on up to big babies.  Which is going to be good because another three of our big babies are leaving on the 18^th!  Sibusiso [See-boo-SEE-so], Adaliah [Add-a-LAY-a], and Sanele [Sa-NE-lay].  So very exciting :)

Side note: Hope the pronunciation keys helped!  Haha probs not.  I just added them in for fun.

Three of the other volunteers and I got to go to the Lion Park this weekend!  It was absolutely amazing. We got to hold little lion cubs, feed giraffes with their huge tongues, and drive through where all the big lions/cheetahs where.  Some got super close to our car!  Others hopped in the truck in front of us...  It was a lot of fun though.  I decided that I would like a lion cub for a pet.  It would be best if it never grew up though, just stayed about 15 pounds.  My next Christmas present maybe?

The other day one of my good friends here found out that her roommate from home suddenly passed away.  It was so sad to hear- my heart completely broke for her.  All the pain from when Eric passed away came back to me because I knew that was the same kind of pain she was feeling.  I got to write her a note about a lot that I learned through that period of my life and how this is the beginning of a long journey for her.  It was really amazing to be able to talk to her about how God is in control of storms and He knows how much stronger she will be at the end of it.  He allows storms like that to happen when He knows you are mature enough to persevere.  And throughout that time, its okay to be confused and have questions and be really angry at God!  Just go to Him with all of those emotions.  He will not be disappointed with you feeling that way, He is mourning right there next to you.  Its crazy how our Lord uses our stories and struggles to reach out to others who are going through that same thing.  It leaves me completely amazed that I am able to honestly say that it is worth the pain that I felt during the year Eric passed away to be able to be there for others who have lost someone close to them.

On a lighter note, Auntie Maggie has officially taken me under her wing for the past couple weeks!  I have gotten to hang out with her many many times while helping her pick up donations from other areas, drop things off at the other baby house, and do some office work at the toddler house.  I was able to go to her apartment and see where she lived this past week!  It was so much fun to get to meet her two girls and her husband.  One night she took Melissa and me to the mall together and eat dinner.  There is a food called pap (pronounced pop) here that is a staple food that they eat all the time.  It looks like mashed potatoes but taste like grits; they usually eat it with their hands with a variety of different things, like stew, chicken, or alone with sauce.  Welp, thats what me and melissa ended up eating with her this night!  At the beginning of the meal she announced, “if you really want to enjoy a meal, you must put away your fork and knife.  It has to be eaten only with the hands.”  So thats exactly what we did.  It was so much fun!  We ate chicken, pop, and gravy (which was more of a mild tomato salsa- its not the thanksgiving turkey gravy that you are thinking of).  It was delicious!  The more mess I was making of my hands the better it got.  It was so freeing- it felt like walking barefoot in the cool grass on a warm summer day.  If you catch me eating all my meals with my hands when I get home, now you know where that stemmed from!

This is me and Maggie! :)

There are so many fires here!  Its absolutely crazy.  Instead of cutting the grass on the side of the streets, they burn it.  It is especially weird since its winter and that is their dry season!  A few nights ago there was a huge fire right outside of our house.  Some fires are controlled, some are not- thankfully this one was controlled!  There is a constant cloud of smoke here though.  When you are in a place where you can see far in the distance, you always see the horizon lined with a gray smoke ring.  Its crazy.

So down to bidness...  As you can hopefully tell from all of my posts, I have learned so very much during my time here!  Such a range of things, but the one overarching theme that I have grasped is the fatherly love our Saviour has.  He has showed me this by letting me experience only a small fraction of that love for these kids.  I have completely fallen in love with them.  I want to know exactly where they are each going to go in life!  I wish I could just keep a secret camera on them at all times so I can always keep tabs on them.  They are amazing kids, they have so much more to offer me than I have to offer them.  Since I have been here, I have had so many dreams about them, I think about them all the time, and I have to see them even on my days off.  When I go out for the day, I want to make sure the timing works so that I can see them for as much of the day as I can.  It seems as though I cannot kiss them enough.  The little smiles and giggles they give after I plant a smooch on their cheek gives me motivation to keep it up, especially with Lerato and Shepperd.  Recently I have been able to put Shepperd down for each nap.  As I lay him down to bed, all I want to do is smile at him, sing him a lullaby, and rub his tummy until he falls asleep.  Waking him up is even better because he always gives the biggest giggle squeal!  He just stares straight into my eyes and smiles for five minutes straight.  When I do his little exercises with him, he laughs the whole time.  I have the best video of his giggle squeal- and its guaranteed that I will listen to that at least 3 times a day for about a year.  When a few of them were sick, the best times were when I got to sit with them on my lap and just sing song after song for them.  If the only time I could sing was singing worship songs to these babies, I would be completely satisfied.  I loved singing Amazing Grace, The More I Seek You, and God of this City.  I’ll admit, my other favorite was “Blackbird” because I love the line- “Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly.”  I don’t think I will ever be able to forget each child I have met here.  They have made a lasting imprint on my heart.  Thinking about leaving them tonight and not being able to ever see their face again... Shoot.  You guys have no idea how hard this will be for me.  I want to be able to be a part of their life!  For a while I was mad at God because I was thinking “how in the heck are you going to let me feel this strongly for these kids when in the end I’ll have to just up and leave them?!”  But He really let me know that the reason I was able to love these kids so much was so show the glimpse of how He feels for each of His children.  He loves each and every one of us so very much, He wants the best for us!  When we cry and mourn, He cries right along with us.  It breaks His heart when He sees us doing something He knows will only lead to heartache and pain.  He loves us each so very much that whatever we do, when we run to Him, He always forgives us and picks us back up.  He comforts us, heals us, and gives us unending grace.  He hates the sin in us and the brokenness that is the root of the unhappiness in our lives.  But most of all, He just loves us, and His love is much more than the love we experience on this Earth.

I have really enjoyed my time here!  But unfortunately, the trip is coming to an end.  I will leave this place tonight forever changed by the lessons I have learned here and the love that I have experienced with the kids.  Our God is a good God so I know He will comfort me during my adjustment back home (2 Cor 1).  But it will be hard to leave them in a few hours, knowing I will never see them again!

This really has been an amazing experience though.  Please email me or call me if you have any questions about it!  Trust me, I would love to talk about it.

If you guys would like to check out their website its: http://www.holeinthewall.org.za/.  They have more information about Door of Hope and also a place you can donate if you would like!

His,

Kelley

Kraft.kelley@gmail.com




This is the giggle squeal I'm talking about when I wake him up!  You can't see the picture really, but you can hear his cute little laugh.